The way I am #7 - My goals, the Future

I could basically copy paste what my "friend" Gemini Phoenix (I would rather refer to him by his real name...) wrote at playstationcollecting because most of the things he wrote are also true about me. It was his text that inspired be to write all this gibberish in messages numbered from 1 to 7 anyway. I hope he doesn't mind if I borrow his text:

"I have a job. It’s not very glamourous, but at least it’s something, but it’s going nowhere and was initially intended to be a stop-gap whilst I decided what I wanted out of life. (...) I never did know what I wanted. I can do better, I know that, but I’m stuck in my ways. I have many friends and an active social life, although I will admit that collecting games is my main interest and hobby of choice. My friends and family are tolerant of my collecting, although some don’t quite understand why I bother with such materialistic hoarding. I don’t know the answer to this myself either. I suppose I just haven’t finished growing up yet, and am probably desperately trying to hold onto my youth – But then, isn’t everyone? Trying to justify it to others is significantly harder than justifying it to yourself!"

In a way I envy those who have settled down with someone else in order to start a family, or push to better themselves academically, but I don’t see what all the rush is."

The same is true for me. I could write that with my own words but I don't think it would come out so well. So I borrow his text but I credit him for this. But this is where I have to write on my own...Right now I don't have a girlfriend, nor I even bother getting one. I loved a few girls in the past, but I'm not the sort to hook up to the first that catches my attention. I never had much luck with the girls that I really liked, but I did almost nothing to catch their attention anyway - maybe because I'm a coward in many ways. I ended up turning down those that liked me just because I did not feel anything for them. The ones I really liked are out of my life anyway, I just let it go.

Like Gemini, I also feel like I lost the boat and missed my chance to do certain things in life and I'm not quite sure if this is the road I've chosen or the one I followed by accident. I, too, feel like I'm going anywhere, not making any progress.

As a collector, I think I've come too far already. At the same time, I think that I still I can go much further than this if my enthusiasm and my life allow me to. I've said it multiple times in this blog: this collecting road was tough and only possible through dedication, work and love. Why I care so much about things that many people consider futile yet surpasses me but I don't think too much about it because I know I have my personal reasons.

I plan on keeping collecting. It's now part of my life, part of my personality. I've achieved a massive knowledge and I will keep learning new things as time goes. I now feel my collection is irreplaceable.

I will keep on collecting and go as far as I possibly can. I would like to open my own "museum" some day, but that dream is way too far away. I'm still young, I guess it's too early for me - or maybe it's already too late but I barely know where to start. My life may even turn around someday. Who know what will happen in the future and how further I can climb the collecting ladder? But I already started and I will keep climbing.

It was nice to write all these messages even if some don't seem to make much sense, but I feel happy for writing these things the way I want to :)

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